Trina's (Personal) Journal Entry 8

Have you ever been so mad yet at the same time so upset over someone or something that you can’t think straight?

I’m sitting here in a waiting room at Hershey Memorial Hospital writing this with those feelings.

They admitted Jon a few minutes ago because the tour doctor thinks he may have hemorrhaged his vocal cords.

I was awful to him…but you know…I was angry at him for being was shitty to me.

He woke up and couldn’t speak this morning so all I wanted to do is to help him out, but instead all myself, Obie and Richie got was a lot of shit and no thank you!

He’s been good to me and I wanted to return the favor.

Why after the conversations I’ve had with him where all of this sudden distrust comes from, I have no clue.

Hopefully, I’ve proven myself and just maybe he’ll realize that all of us care about him. A lot.

Jon has been apparently taking steroid injections for his voice for quite some time.

Richie told me a little while ago that he’s been taking them for a long time because he’s simply overused his voice.

“He doesn’t know when to stop.” Richie told me in the waiting room.

I remember when I first met them and how Jon was telling me how much everyone they depended on him and the tour dates to provide for their families.

But I can’t help but to think what happens if something were to happen to him? What would everyone do? What would he do? He lives and breathes music. It is and always will be a part of him.

I know he has other things he likes to do, but I can’t help but wonder what happens if he can’t perform anymore.

Maybe everyone’s right. Maybe he’s more upset at himself than at me. But what should I do?

How can I help him?

Juanita wants me to come with her when she and Jon go home to New Jersey. She thinks he’ll be happy to have the company for a while.

I can’t help wondering if he’ll want me around. What if he treats me even worse than he already has treated me?

I’ll go for her. I guess.

Wait and see… - Trina.

Trina's (Personal) Journal Entry 7

Oh my god. What did I get myself into?

I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to tell Heather that I'd like to do the promos for the Giants shows due to Jon having to work on stuff.

What stuff Trina?....Think.....

You can't tell them right now that Jon has no voice. That will be put everyone into a panic.

Poor Jon....I knew something was wrong. He couldn't even move his neck last night after the show.

His voice hasn't been the same since that first sound check.

I don't know Doc well enough to even make a guess of what he'd do if he found out that Jon couldn't even speak.

Think Trina......What could Jon be doing? What would Jon normally be doing?

Hmmm....Maybe I could tell her that Obie needs him for logistics or something...That's it.

Oh my god...I knew something was wrong. I tried to ask Jon but he wouldn't tell me. I would have done anything to help him.


I know I'm a member of the press but I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my friendship with him. Friends first, writing subject 2nd!

He's been too good to me.

I pray he can sing. If he can get through tonight, then we can worry about Giant's later. Thank god Doc's away at a Motley Crue show tonight. I think we'd all get in trouble if this came out.

Paul will be too busy dealing with the last minute stuff for tonight's show to even notice. But, I gotta tell you, he really loves Jon. I wonder if we should tell him?''

Nah....Don't want too many people knowing. The less the better.

And Richie. I've got to get Richie up. I need him. He's such a great friend to Jon. His positivity will light up that television station. If he's there, then that's just as good as having Jon. Wonder why he's so tired?

Maybe he and Ally made up...

Where is Kendall when I need her?

This has to get better....