Trina's (Personal) Journal Entry 8

Have you ever been so mad yet at the same time so upset over someone or something that you can’t think straight?

I’m sitting here in a waiting room at Hershey Memorial Hospital writing this with those feelings.

They admitted Jon a few minutes ago because the tour doctor thinks he may have hemorrhaged his vocal cords.

I was awful to him…but you know…I was angry at him for being was shitty to me.

He woke up and couldn’t speak this morning so all I wanted to do is to help him out, but instead all myself, Obie and Richie got was a lot of shit and no thank you!

He’s been good to me and I wanted to return the favor.

Why after the conversations I’ve had with him where all of this sudden distrust comes from, I have no clue.

Hopefully, I’ve proven myself and just maybe he’ll realize that all of us care about him. A lot.

Jon has been apparently taking steroid injections for his voice for quite some time.

Richie told me a little while ago that he’s been taking them for a long time because he’s simply overused his voice.

“He doesn’t know when to stop.” Richie told me in the waiting room.

I remember when I first met them and how Jon was telling me how much everyone they depended on him and the tour dates to provide for their families.

But I can’t help but to think what happens if something were to happen to him? What would everyone do? What would he do? He lives and breathes music. It is and always will be a part of him.

I know he has other things he likes to do, but I can’t help but wonder what happens if he can’t perform anymore.

Maybe everyone’s right. Maybe he’s more upset at himself than at me. But what should I do?

How can I help him?

Juanita wants me to come with her when she and Jon go home to New Jersey. She thinks he’ll be happy to have the company for a while.

I can’t help wondering if he’ll want me around. What if he treats me even worse than he already has treated me?

I’ll go for her. I guess.

Wait and see… - Trina.

Trina's (Personal) Journal Entry 7

Oh my god. What did I get myself into?

I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to tell Heather that I'd like to do the promos for the Giants shows due to Jon having to work on stuff.

What stuff Trina?....Think.....

You can't tell them right now that Jon has no voice. That will be put everyone into a panic.

Poor Jon....I knew something was wrong. He couldn't even move his neck last night after the show.

His voice hasn't been the same since that first sound check.

I don't know Doc well enough to even make a guess of what he'd do if he found out that Jon couldn't even speak.

Think Trina......What could Jon be doing? What would Jon normally be doing?

Hmmm....Maybe I could tell her that Obie needs him for logistics or something...That's it.

Oh my god...I knew something was wrong. I tried to ask Jon but he wouldn't tell me. I would have done anything to help him.


I know I'm a member of the press but I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my friendship with him. Friends first, writing subject 2nd!

He's been too good to me.

I pray he can sing. If he can get through tonight, then we can worry about Giant's later. Thank god Doc's away at a Motley Crue show tonight. I think we'd all get in trouble if this came out.

Paul will be too busy dealing with the last minute stuff for tonight's show to even notice. But, I gotta tell you, he really loves Jon. I wonder if we should tell him?''

Nah....Don't want too many people knowing. The less the better.

And Richie. I've got to get Richie up. I need him. He's such a great friend to Jon. His positivity will light up that television station. If he's there, then that's just as good as having Jon. Wonder why he's so tired?

Maybe he and Ally made up...

Where is Kendall when I need her?

This has to get better....

Journal Entry 6. (Rolling Stone)

Okay folks ever feel as if you’re on a rollercoaster that does not let you get off?

You twist and turn; you’re up, down sideways and then some?

Just when I think I have Jon figured out, I am slowly learning that being a lead singer is more about having more than one personality in a career where only one is demanded.

The hats he wears throughout the organization are diverse to put it mildly. We start our day looking (Well he doesn’t look at them I noticed) at the reviews of the previous night’s show.

Heather, Polygram’s publicist, Doc and Paul look for anything at this point that is positive with the performance, the sound, Jon’s interaction with the crowd, etc.

According to an office staff member, the management team no longer looks at reviews that solely focus on Jon or Richie’s looks. They also refuse to look at reviewers who seem to have a personal gripe with any specific band member or the band in general.

Heather after going through the reviews, contacts Polygram to begin the promotional machine for the next set of towns. Obie and Paul will also go over the night with Jon and find out what things need to be fixed or changed in time for the next show.

Obie, the unsung hero of the “Syndicate” will then take the info and run through it with the other road crew, knowing that Jon will not only meet with them later to go over any glitches in the system, but to also meet with Paul and other staff members regarding different safety issues, insurance and ordinances and bylaws they need to adhere to.

Once that happens, (by then Jon and I were on our 2^nd cup of coffee). We were whisked away to two different radio stations for promotional purposes.

Bleary-eyed and on the way to the first radio station, Jon is quiet and reserved. He looks out the windows of the car we’re in seemingly soaking in the surroundings.

I asked him what was he looking at and he simply replied. “Pittsburgh. This is the way I see a town.”

To be honest with their schedule the way it is, I understand what he’s talking about.

At the radio station, the DJ asked him about the shows, how the rest of the guys were and how album sales were.

Another personality comes up to the surface. Rock Star. He answers the questions with a smile and ease that very few can do.

Interview #1 ended-Now, we go to Radio Station #2.

He was so tired from the previous night’s performance, that by the time we all had a bite to eat and checked into the hotel, it was very early this morning.

He attempted to shake it off, but the famous blue eyes that were noted for projecting strength and empathy, were red, framed with dark circles. He took one good look at himself in the limo’s side mirror and promptly put on his sunglasses. Instant cover-up; rock style. Crisis diverted.

This DJ also rattled off questions that were almost exactly like our first stop. Though Jon handled it with a charm and a sense of humor, now after having listened to both interviews, “Rock Star” managed to set a tone for each interview that made them seem like two very different interviews.

When speaking to Obie about all of this, he explained to me that it astonishes him and the band on how well Jon handles nearly every aspect of his career.

At the in-store appearance this afternoon, one last personality came out. Fan.

Besides the typical teenage girls throwing themselves at Jon and the rest of the band members praying for marriage or just simply to say hi, there were teenage boys with a dream in their heart, itching to give Jon their own “Runaway.” Tape after tape was given to him. He smiled and seemed to be genuinely excited to talk shop with them for a bit before signing an autograph.

I asked him afterwards if he minded those kids giving him those tapes. He replied,

“Nope. Their tapes from their bands could be the next big thing. When the tour is over, I’ll listen to all of them. And if I can, I’ll help point them in the right direction.”

I couldn’t help but to be skeptical about him listening to the pile of at least 50 audiocassettes waiting for him in a duffle bag. He laughed and insisted that he would.

“Why?” I had to ask.

“Because I want to hear what could be next. Some of those tapes will be bad, but there will be others who easily can be here with us next tour. If that happens, I’ll be the first to help and support them.” He said.

Jon went on to tell me that he wished someone did that for him.

“Just one listen, one comment. A sign that as an artist I’m going in either the right or wrong direction. Should I stop or move forward? Recognition.” He said.

- More from the road soon….Trina.

Trina's (Personal) Journal Entry. 5

300 a.m-

Why the hell did Kendall have to leave? Dear God. I’m a ball of emotions in a spot where I could use her insight right now.

Jon’s voice went out. He was afraid that I’d put what I saw in my review.

I told him now that I wouldn’t, but also told him that I may in the future. He tried to hard to hit the high notes but his voice wouldn’t budge. Not one bit.

The band supported him 100% by strategically adding parts and changing arrangements to accommodate his voice.

I don’t care what he says. Something else is going on with his voice.

I’m truly concerned as a friend to ask him what’s going on, but I guess what I learned is when he’s ready to tell me, maybe he will.

Anyways after we got any feelings out over what I’d write and what he wasn’t going to say to about it, he and the guys prepared for the show.

He keeps to himself during this time. I wonder what he’s thinking? He mostly was playing his guitar and talking to his sound engineer, Obie O’Brien.

Obie is very funny. Very down to earth. It’s him and Jon’s assistant, Juanita McGregor that seem to make Jon feel the most at ease. Jon at this point needs them to get through the rest of this tour. Otherwise, I have a feeling he’d be a basket case.

Richie is also great person for Jon too. Loyal to the core, he never will let Jon or anyone else in that band down. To me, he is the band’s conscience and heart. If Jon breaks down, Richie will be right there to pick up the pieces for him. There is no question about that.

He, Jon and Obie seem like brothers, sharing secrets, an occasional laugh or two.

However it’s Jon that is the focus, their taskmaster, their hero. Whether he wants it or not, it’s a hard weight to be under.

But any doubts of how he feels magically leave when he’s on stage. He feeds off of the crowd’s energy. He’s jovial, centered and positive.

And he KISSED me. Before the show he kissed me. And I could literally feel the excitement and intensity brought to him by that crowd.

I counted the minutes until he walked off of the stage.

He told me that “Never Say Goodbye.” Was performed for me tonight. I drank in every word. Desperately wanting him to come back to me and kiss me like he had done before.

He did. Well, on the forehead, but only this time. I pulled back.

Why? Scared. He’s great. I don’t want to ruin what has been “so” great.

He’s a rock star that could have anyone. He doesn’t need someone like me who’s idea of a good is sitting at home and watching old movies while kicking back some pizza and beer.

Ally and Jon both told me during sound check earlier today that Dorothea was gone.

He was sad, but not. He felt good about the decision that was made between the two of them. To be honest, thank god. That was one last weight on his shoulders that he didn’t need.

I don’t know about my feelings yet. They are overwhelming and angering me at the same time.

Maybe I just need to focus like Kendall said. It’s going to be hard to do when Jon is as good-looking and as nice as he is. God give me strength…Please…Trina

Journal Entry 4. (1st Review for Rolling Stone/Philly Post

4 a.m.

Dear God, what a magical night the second night of the Spectrum was. The band proved that they were more than some flash in the pan. They did their normal standards that engaged the hungry crowd, however it was the last two songs of the night, “Prayer” and “Never Say Goodbye” that left the audience breathless.

Lead guitarist, Richie Sambora and Jon Bon Jovi did the unthinkable in a time where electric power chords and synthesizers ruled the land. They played both songs acoustically and beautifully to beat.

“Never Say Goodbye” was done in a brilliant lower arrangement. It brought both a soul and truth to a song that lately has been the ballad of proms and graduations. Hopefully now, new memories can be made of out this version as well.

The crowd was electric. Their positive energy could be felt from throughout the arena.

Jon took everything in. You couldn’t help it.

The more noise the crowd made, the more he fed into it, he was such a master that he brought my best friend Kendall onstage and danced with her, finally winning her over in the process.

He’s a special person. Jon had everyone on their feet from the time they got onstage singing “Wild in the Streets,” to their last song. “Never Say Goodbye.” Anyone going to Pittsburgh look them up, the ride continues-Trina.

Entry 3.

4 pm-Same day.

Okay. The Jersey Syndicate Tour for me officially starts here. After one last day of packing, paying bills out, more packing and finally settling things with my landlord, I just have to wonder if the guys do all of this before they leave. Eight months is a long time. My feels as I write this now are of sadness and excitement.

I’m rewriting this because my best friend Kendall has some concert about more leaving and I just feel the need to write my thoughts down on paper.

Kendall is loyal to a fault. Friends for 20+years. I swear we’ll be friends for another 50 before it’s all said and done.

We grew up together in a small town in Upstate, New York called Schenectady.

Blue-collar as they come, Schenectady is the last of a dying breed of towns that in its heyday depended on one company to sustain its economy.

When progress met that company head on, our town was unable to deal with it. Unfortunately people lost jobs and homes left and right for years.

Sure other companies came in, however eventually for Kendall and I and the dreams we had, it was time to go.

She has been my rock and inspiration. We’re as different as night and day.

Me? Preppie chick; Her? Fleetwood Mac loving rocker chick.

Her idol growing up was Stevie Nicks. Kendall wore it all, scarves, boots. She even wears her hair like hers now. To be honest, Stevie, with that voice is not a bad idol to have.

Sometimes with Kendall’s loyalty comes at times, what I call “the green-eyed monster.” Today she got angry because she felt the band was taking me from her. Silly girl. It’s a job. One that hasn’t even started yet, but a job nonetheless.

Of course, I’ve been having my own doubts, but they are of will they fire me for going on like this? Will people care? How will all of this portray the band?

Only good I hope….Trina

Entry 2.

6 AM.

Dear God I am wide-awake!

My mind is racing. I can’t believe I called Jon last night!! Unbeknownst to me it was late.

I had called him to say thanks for the great opportunity he has given me and as usual I had rambled on and on so much that I had forgotten it was 11 pm! He was so nice and sweet…God, I hope he knows what he’s getting himself into! He was right though about one thing. I hope I have enough underwear.

Here’s another thing that I’m going to have to get used to, the schedule. I start this afternoon and my evening from my arrival to the end of the night is planned down the last detail.

I swear the only two things they didn’t schedule are when to sleep and go the freakin bathroom.

After the show it’s then onto Pittsburgh. That schedule is crazier then this one is.

I’m so excited to see everyone. Especially Jon. He is as intelligent as they come. To write songs like Prayer and Wanted, I can applaud him for. I’m getting it like everyone else. They grab us me because they come from a true place. He seems to like to observe others like I do and tell their tales later. While I go through this process, I’ll keep those songs close to my heart and in my thoughts while I tell his.

Sleep is closing in. Thank God I’m packed. Add more to this later. My nerves will most certainly need it. –Trina

Trina's Journal Entry 1

11:30 pm.-My apartment. Okay everyone. I guess I’ll start things here. My name is Trina, former editorial assistant, now music reporter for the Philly Post and Rolling Stone.

Yes…Rolling Stone!! Can you believe this?

The past 48 hours my life of writing obituaries and news briefs has turned into me embarking on one of the most important milestones of my life.

Following the biggest band in the world around for eight months, writing journal entries about Bon Jovi.

For some reason, I didn’t know much about them. Even before I did a music review on them.

Go ahead tell me I live in a cave. But their style wasn’t something that I ever got into.

Duran Duran-yes? Bon Jovi? Ummmm… What songs do they sing?

Maybe that’s why I got this?

I have two friends who helped along this ride. I’m forever grateful to them.

To know me, you have to know what I was like before I got this gig.

I was at the Philly Post for five years doing the same thing over and over again when I noticed that ½ people I saw getting the bigger and better positions were ½ as talented as I was or were just as talented as me and quickly left for positions even bigger and better than the Post could ever give them.

Yet, for some reason, I couldn’t push forward to see what I could be capable of.

Sure I could write. I wrote in high school, college, and internships. However, I continued to be frightened of …What if? A couple of days before I did my review that led up this opportunity, I couldn’t help but question, ‘Why did I continue to do this and what could I do to stand out and get noticed? I was better than this.’

My friends encouraged and reassured me. The result? Hanging around with Bon Jovi. (I guess my friends aren’t bad ones to have huh?)

As I’m about to tell both Bon Jovi’s stories along with my own, we should all remember that everyone has a story. Good or bad. As right or wrong as that other person may seem, all of us have a side. I beg you to be mindful of that. Back to packing...(Will it ever end?) Take care and enjoy the ride. -Trina.